Course Correction

I am officially overwhelmed. Course correction needed. 

This is so unlike me. Especially in the middle of the day. I drink, maybe, five drinks per year. Well I'm halfway through my yearly quota. 

I started researching the other (obvious) next thing to research. 

What about moving to France from Germany, assuming I am successful in finding employment there? 

My brain imploded. 

It's like a whole new ball game. I'm not even going to get into it because I have too many questions that need answering before I can start, primarily around the whole Visa thing. 

I *think* it will be easier. But I'm not sure yet. It depends on what kind of Visa I get. There are choices and my specific situation was not googleable. 

Here are some of thing things Jim and I talk about at night before bed (is this good for my sleep?): 

• What about traveling all over Europe, renting a place for one year and then moving on?
• I mean, geez, we could live in the French Alps for one year; then Paris for a year; then the French Riviera for a year; we could live in five different places in the French Alps...
• Switzerland
• Praque (not really on my list but Jim mentioned it)
• Norway (totally on the list)
• Iceland (not a year, but some duration of time)
• Ireland (not a year here either I don't think, I so love the wild ocean)
• Scotland
• Barcelona
• England
• How does the whole driving thing work if you drive through the underwater tunnel and you end up on the other side driving on the other side of the road ... with your car that is designed to drive on this side of the road???
• Do they have a lot full of cars for you to swap out with for your visit?
• HOW ON EARTH DOES THE VISA PROCESS WORK IF WE MOVE TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY EVERY YEAR?
• If we became residents of the EU, which is possible by living in Germany for five years (again, not sure if applies to my situation), we are all set
• Now I have to learn German
• Because you have to know German to get a permanent residency in Germany
• But then we could do WHATEVER WE WANTED
• Still not sure this is possible
• Should we NOT sell our house so we have someplace with lots of space to come back to? 
• My gut says no, but it's a scary thought (just a little)
• It's comforting to know you have a home
• But the idea of being free is very compelling

Memories ... Letting Go

Schuyler was home for an overnight. He is on a gradual, slightly exponential "moving out of the house" curve. I went up to his room after he left. Another universe of things to do. What to throw away? What is he going to keep? Room needs remodeling ... new carpet, paint. All his artwork that he wants to throw away that I insist on keeping. 

If I move to a new place every year I can't bring all this stuff with me. 

If I store it will I ever really look at it again?

Don't my children want their stuff? 

No. It's just stuff. Memories. A lifetime. It always makes me sad to go through my children's histories. Remembering moments that I neglected to grasp in full at the time. Remembering moments I did grasp at the time. Either way, they are gone. Do they even remember these moments? Probably not. They are mine and mine alone. 

I went down to the basement while Jim was taking Schuyler to Lansing. It took me all of 15 minutes to fill up the dumpy with stuff. I know we have three years to get this all done. But, I'm so impatient. 

Thus, the White Russian. Drink #2 almost gone. I think there's enough vodka for one more. It's almost 2pm in the afternoon. I am so toasted for the rest of the day. 

Jim is such a good sport about all of this. He's excited too actually. It will be fun. 

I tried to take a nap and I kept thinking about how it's going to work getting my dog(s) to Europe. Monet may not go in a crate, ever, so she may not even be able to come. I imagine myself greeting my beloved Applejack at the airport. He's terrified but so glad to see me he bursts out of his crate (he doesn't like crates either but I know he'll do it). Did he manage to hold it through the night? Is he cold? Is he hot? Is he still alive?

If I figure it all out in my head will that make it easier? 

Yep, I think so. But there has got to be a limit.