After obsessing over My Road to France for about six months, and with the help of this blog to clear my head and sort things out, I find myself with doubt.
This whole thing is at best, 1035 days off. I can make up my mind much much later.
I discovered a crack in the painting on the ceiling in the foyer. We actually cannot reach that part of the house. We need a huge tall ladder. It’s like, 20 some feet up. And it has to be fixed in order to sell this house. And the chandelier; we haven't been able to reach the chandelier for cleaning (same location, flaw in our design). So we need that ladder anyway.
The ladder we need to clean the chandelier and fix the ceiling is $800. That’s why I didn’t buy it before when we were looking.
We could rent a ladder, but then we have to get it here.
And we could use a 20’ ladder to clean the lights in the barn, and maybe those walls too.
Ugh I don’t want to buy a ladder.
As I look out off the back deck I ponder what life in Europe will be like. My personal space; my home, my "garden" will be so much smaller. There will be noise from the village. These are all things that drove me to the country in the first place. Am I going to like living there? If we sell our house there is no way we would ever be able to find something like this again. All my space; my green woods, the green pastures, the large rooms in my house (that is getting way too big for us now anyway since two boys have left). I won't be able to come back. But then, I don't want to come back to here anyway.
Do I?
Will I regret leaving all of this?
Can I leave my children behind? People do this, right? Or perhaps vice versa - their children leave them. I think I'm pretty ok with all of that as long as they are doing ok, but it will be weird not being able to hop in the car and drive 45 minutes to go see them.
And I not-so-secretly hope they will find a way to follow us anyway.
So, I'm getting cold feet.
Thus and therefore, it is time to look at some pretty pictures to remind me of why I want to immerse myself in a new culture; a different kind of spaciousness, a different kind of lifestyle. New adventures. New trails to conquer. Beach, forest, mountain, lake bistro, cafe, boulangerie, patisserie.
The idea of a mountain lake provides me everything I think I want: I love the water. And, I love the mountains.
I love water because, well, I grew up near water and have always enjoyed swimming. But even more than that, water cleanses my soul somehow. It brings me peace when I am at war with myself. It has always done this for me.
As do the trees, but in a softer, more subtle, slower way. Water fixes me up immediately. I have to spend time with the trees to get rooted again.
Mountains. I have not really spent a lot of time in the big mountains but whenever I have I have enjoyed the expansive vista and the ability to see SO FAR AWAY. It's like this limitless, untouchable, infinite feeling that I cannot quite grasp and so it holds my interest.
A mountain lake, like Lake Annecy, is surrounded by small (ish) mountains, so day hikes of varying difficulty would abound.
And the town is so pretty and colorful, according to the photos.
The other area is Servoz, which is very close to Chamonix and, maybe, a little bit more affordable for us, yet within driving distance to beautiful Mont Blanc and the Chamonix Valley.
This is Noah conquering a rock on the ascent to Lac Blanc in 2014 (that time when I fell in love with France, which led to falling in love with the idea of living in France).
SEE WAY OVER to the other side? Across the valley to the mountains on the other side? There are glaciers and mountain peaks that look like they are at the same height as we are but they are SO MUCH higher.
And the mountain air. Oh gosh. So refreshing. Clean. Clear. Open. Invigorating. If you climb a mountain there is no way you can do it without getting a really great workout; you are always going up. Up and over the next hill, always something new to see because you NEVER reach the top ... unless you are a professional and have all the gear and everything and take several days, which is completely unnecessary for my purposes.
Aiguilles Du Midi - yeah, I took that picture! Isn't it awesome? There is a lookout at the top that we neglected to go to, so I have to remedy that next time.
I told Noah, when we went to France, that the danger in traveling to far away and amazing places is that it can make your current life seem small and boring, and to be careful about this; not allow your current life to become small and boring just because you saw something new.
I thought I was being wise when I told him this.
Here I am in front of Le Dru. There is a huge glacial valley between where I'm standing and the actual mountain peak, but it looks so close, doesn't it?
Le Dru is my favorite mountain in the Chamonix Valley. I don't know why, but it is.
And on the way to Le Dru we stopped by this amazing, quiet lake called Lac Bleu. We took the cable up Lac Bleu and walked over to Le Dru. It was a beautiful walk and we saw so many beautiful sites; flowers, rivulets, rocks. Stopping for lunch on a big rock and just peacefully becoming one with the space. Gazing out at the other side of the valley to the mountains we had climbed earlier in the week.
So, that is a taste of the mountain scene. Looks kind of cold and vast and gray. Very alpine. And it is of course. That must be why they make the towns in the valleys SO ADORABLE!
And then, there is the sea. I love the sea. The sound of the water on the rocks as it rushes back to the sea, popping all the tiny air bubbles in between the rocks. I found it so comforting.
It would be just a drive away and a long weekend.
